Yes, you heard it… Romance (capital R intended!)
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear this word? All sorts of things right? Or maybe you are going to immediately think of what your first experience with romance was like?
Let’s face it. Romance isn’t for the faint of heart but it shouldn’t be a scary word. If you’re not a hopeless romantic feel free to continue reading. And even hopeless romantics should be able to relate to the contents of what I am about to say next.
Ok, so the term ‘romance’ isn’t just doing lot’s of things together (though that does help). It connotes a long-lasting mutual feeling of deep feelings of desire between consenting adults. For the purpose of this article though, it refers to making moments to be yourself with someone who gives you that special time and moment to be yourself.
This concept of romance is really for you if you haven’t seen that special someone who always appreciates you for being yourself when you’re around them. If you don’t think that you can relate to this concept of romance, still read on to learn more about it ;). Don’t be scared to be yourself while reading this.
Let’s break down the building blocks of romance. We are definitely breaking down barriers while breaking new ground when we do this. 🙂
Realness is in the air whenever you are around this person. I want you to picture that person who you haven’t seen in a long time that you can show your real self around. It could even be someone that you even used to have feelings for. How real can you get while you are with this person? How ‘real’ does the person make you feel? Was a spark rekindled instantly?
Openness is a feature of a romantic setting and is closely associated with being real. This is scary for many persons, but should it be scary for you if you really plan to have a good time with that long-lost person who you have always had a history of openness with? Being open means that you can share almost anything with that person even if you haven’t seen them for a long time. Who knows, maybe this level of openness will set the tone for further development along the ‘ladder of romance.’ Remember, in order to be open you have to be real. Real recognises real, doesn’t it?
So maybe if you’re a woman you’ve heard men say “she pulls me in like a magnet” right? Men can pull in women too if most men really paid attention to what actually attracts women. But anyways, this is a mutual discussion, right? 🙂
Magnetism is critical if you (whether male or female) want to spice up things in a ‘long-lost’ relationship. Try to remember the good times when you were attracted to each other. If you both are still interested in each other, go in for the ‘kill,’ but don’t be aggressive when just re-starting. However, be purposeful during the interaction in terms of making it known that you are still interested. Body language goes a far way.
If you find that you are still into someone despite being ‘apart’ for so many years, then this sets the tone for attraction to be re-ignited. Usually, it will take more than one date out to achieve this perfectly. However, if you are still attracted to this person, this tends to be manifested during the first night out after years of being apart. Attraction is like a drug and once it’s real, it never goes away that easily. This is one of the main reasons why many marriages still survive. The attraction component remains years into the marriage, making it easier to overlook a partner’s faults. I’m not saying that you should get married right away now, but let the attraction process run its due course.
How does nepotism relate to romance? There is an interesting twist to this concept. Nepotism (or favouritism) refers to giving someone or something first preference over another usually as a result of some perceived benefit of doing so. In the case of romance, if you want to go out with someone who makes you feel alive, you will tend to show that person favouritism over other contenders on the stage of romance. Don’t let the person feel as if they are with an ordinary person or ‘just a friend.’ Show her what you’re made of! Ladies aren’t excluded. Show the guy why you’re out with him. Usually, it is left up to the male to make the moves but you ladies can make moves too (just be ladylike about it).
Take care of each other. If you really care about each other, don’t entertain sloppiness. If she is special, treat her to a lovely dinner at a decent restaurant or go to the movies. Don’t be cheap if you really want to impress her after you’ve been away for a while. Don’t be shy to show her how much you care. Guys I know it can be tough but it is doable.
Ladies, you might hate making moves, but men need attention too. Don’t be selfish. Suggest your preferences (even though you usually expect men to decide for you or help you decide). This special person will not only value your input, he will also respect you for it because it tells him that you care and that you will make him believe it even in the most romantically daring of circumstances.
Are you emotionally attached to this person for the right reasons? Romance isn’t a game so it shouldn’t be a scary word. Romance allows no room for fake emotions because such fakeness tends to surface very quickly and will spoil a seemingly romantic situation faster than how lightning strikes. Showing emotion in trying to rekindle or start a journey towards romance doesn’t mean that you are irrational, it simply means that you will do everything in your power to ensure that feelings are conveyed in the correct manner. Not everything will be perfect, but showing your emotions will be worth it if the other person shares the same sentiments.
So you see, romance isn’t a scary word and it doesn’t have to be either. It all comes down to what your concept of romance is and how you plan to execute the different stages with that special someone. This isn’t a one-sided affair, but is more of a ‘joint-venture’ with emotions and feeling being shared and possible commitment initiated. Romance involves stages, but these aren’t scary at all. 🙂